Same Sex Marriage Ignites A New Generation of Civic Activists

Same Sex Marriage Ignites A New Generation Of Activists


By Ann Harrison

There were tears on the streets of San Francisco this week. A few hours after the California Supreme Court ordered a halt to the same-sex marriage extravaganza that has been unfolding here since February 12, I joined a sad but determined crowd gathered in the Castro neighborhood. We marched together into the warm twilight down Market Street to protest in front of the Supreme Court. "What if they had stopped your wedding?" read one sign carried by an unhappy couple who were turned away at City Hall.

But no matter what happens next - whether the court invalidates the more than 4,000 marriage licenses that have already been issued here – or if it finds that state constitutional provisions prohibiting discrimination trump state law banning same sex marriage – San Francisco has already undergone a civic metamorphosis. Allowing same set marriage wasn't like offering people a tax rebate. It was a rare instance when a local government actually took its foot off the necks of marginalized citizens and offered them civil rights. The result has been a city-wide reconsideration of civic activism. "Look at this!" said Mickey Hall as the police shut down the boulevard ahead of the demonstration. "It's been a long time since people have turned out on a moment's notice like this. Same sex marriage has resurrected San Francisco as the gem of civil liberties and civil rights."

"We haven't been this united since the AIDS crisis," agreed Molly McKay, director of Marriage Equality California who marched at head of the line. "We will overcome that, and we will overcome this."

Our tough-guy governor Arnold Schwarzenegger predicted that same sex marriage would lead to rioting and civil unrest. Conservative commentators warned of anarchy and collapse of the rule of law. But the real crisis that officials in Portland, Oregon; New Paltz, New York; Asbury Park, New Jersey; and Sandoval County, New Mexico should brace for as they marry same sex couples, is an overabundance of benevolence. The San Francisco Mayor's Office of Neighborhood Services is now reporting that they have so many volunteers for community projects that they are forced to turn people away. Joy O'Donnell and Karen Carrington said they got married February 12 and promptly volunteered down at City Hall.

Straight marriage is not the bedrock of civilization. Half of these marriages fail and yet somehow we manage to keep going. It is civic responsibility - caring about and contributing to one's community - which allows societies to evolve and preserver. What we've seen in San Francisco during the last month is a rejuvenation of civil society at a time when the city badly needs the support of ordinary citizens.

Skeptical? Need proof? Consider the city's most recent Town Hall meeting. These are usually thinly attended events where a few dozen citizens square off against the mayor and his department heads. But on a bright Saturday morning on February 28th, when most San Franciscans might be out in the park catching some sun, over a thousand people showed up at the James Lick Middle School to discuss the needs and concerns of the city's District 8 neighborhood. Some of these people didn't live in District 8. Many were same sex newlyweds who just came to thank Mayor Gavin Newsom for instructing City Hall to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. When this group was asked to stand, half the room got to their feet. So many San Franciscans have gotten hitched in the last few weeks, that cohabitating as I do is beginning to feel like a form of civil disobedience.

"This is an exciting time for San Francisco," State Assemblymember Mark Leno told the Town Hall crowd. "What we have been celebrating here is love, why don't we show it?" The crowd obliged, and Newsom entered the room to the first of several standing ovations. People ran towards him with super-sized thank you cards. The lesbians seated on either side of me wept. "That's pretty extraordinary hello," said Newsom. "In two months you'll be yelling and screaming at me for something." "Run for President!" yelled someone from the crowd. "Why are you crying?" I asked the woman in the next seat. Because he showed that he cared about my life, and he didn't have to," she said.


Falling In Love With Civic Duty

Yes, the crowd loved Newsom who has become a folk hero in the queer community. But as soon as people started speaking at that Town Hall meetings, it was clear that they were also falling in love with the idea of civic duty. Newsom is counting on this after our big city-wide honeymoon comes to a end. After telling the crowd how proud he was to be standing up for non-discrimination, Newsom delivered the bad news. He said the city is facing a unprecedented 300 million budget deficit, has no general funds in reserve and is already in deficit spending. Newsom, who has to balance the budget by June, asked the crowd for "your help, your advice and counsel" as he makes deep spending cuts.

"We have no ability to go out and get more money short of the state and federal government coming to the rescue," said Newsom who rolled his eyes at the very thought. The room got very quiet. Everyone was mentally calculating how much the homophobes of the world would like to see San Francisco go broke and fall apart. Then Newsom reminded the mostly white audience of the shamefully high rate of unsolved murders in the city's predominantly black neighborhoods of Bay View and Hunters Point. "We have to start believing in each other," said Newsom. "We have to start believing in our institutions again. I am beginning to think that we can do anything in San Francisco if we have the courage to stand up."

One by one, members of the crowd did stand up and tried to figure out how to solve community problems with scarce resources. How can residents work with the city to bring another grocery store to the neighborhood? How can more affordable housing be built? Why are parking spots being eliminated? What about the homeless? How can residents help with park cleanup? Many of the speakers prefaced their comments by stating what the city has done for them - before suggesting ways to improve the city.

"I want to thank you for stopping discrimination. Talk is cheap, but the courage to act on that is not," said one man before discussing neighborhood redevelopment.

"I want to thank you very much for your courageous stand," said another man who wanted to discuss the city's permitting process. "It's been amazing, my spouse and I thank you."

"After 25 years of living with my partner, I'm no longer living in sin," said Roger Sanders head of the Mayor's Office of Community Development who then considered the need for a stop sign at 23rd and Castro Street.

"You've made an honest man of me after 14 years, although my parents are still confused about the name change," said one man. "How can we as individuals help the most?

"Thank you for allowing my husband Teal and I to get married legally," said Brian Davis. "Is there a way you can sit down and figure out a way to raise taxes in November? Maybe business taxes, property taxes?

Raise taxes! When was the last time you heard that? But someone had another idea. "Thank you for allowing me to marry," said one woman. "My belief is that love truly can conquer everything. What if we made San Francisco the gay marriage capital of the world and raised the fee." After another standing ovation, Newsom quipped that his staff has already considered that possibility and calculated that they would need another 2.7 million marriages at City Hall to make ends meet.

Glenna Taylor, who married her partner Jennifer at City Hall, suggested after the meeting that if San Francisco is going to be financially blackballed for supporting same sex marriage, it was incumbent on every queer resident to mail the city a dollar to help balance the budget. "Make it five dollars and make San Francisco the showplace of the country," said Taylor who said Newsom has renewed her faith in city government. "There is something believable. It is the beginning of trust," said Taylor. "It is the beginning of hope."

Conservatives were right about one thing, gay marriage is having an effect on young people who seem to be undergoing their own civic reawakening. Brian Cohen who teaches fifth graders at the James Lick Middle School says Newsom's defense of same sex marriage has shown his students that they can have heroes outside the NFL and NBA. "You have helped teach us that civil rights is not just something going on in the past," he told Newsom. "It is happening now. We are reading the newspapers."

A week after the Town Hall meeting, Anna Baucus, 17, stood with a group of her friends from San Jose's Catholic Notre Dame High School and protested outside the Santa Clara Convention Center where President Bush was holding a fundraising event. She said the founding fathers separated church and state and they should not be joined to oppose gay marriage. "I go to a really good school and this is the first time I've seen people stand against what they were raised in the church to believe," said Baucus. "They are saying, 'I don't agree with what church fundamentalists are doing.' I can't tell two people in love that it is wrong."

Dawn Revilla, who attended the Town Hall meeting, says she believes the renewed civic activism emanating from San Francisco will last. Revilla, who married her female partner at City Hall, placed "Freedom To Marry" stickers on a line of buses from the North Valley Baptist Church lined up outside the Santa Clara Convention Center. She pointed out that Newsom not only got the attention of the gay and lesbian community and helped revive their political movement, he linked it to the budget, parking, murders and other issues concerned citizens should care about.

"By seeing that he helped us, we were more willing to pitch in and help out and get involved," said Revilla. "We hadn't thought about volunteering before, but people are now. It's made a difference to know that we are being taken care of, and now we can pitch in."

The next San Francisco Town Hall meeting will take place in District 10, which includes Hunters Point and Bay View. We'll see how much love and civic pride can be transferred to that neighborhood.

Ann Harrison ah [at] well.com writes the "At Liberty" column from San Francisco.